The time you cannot get back: being available at all times is not generosity
By Eylem Samland, FIERA Leadership. Published 2026-07-13.
There is a pattern I see in almost every senior leader I know. Their calendar is fragmented into fifteen-minute pieces. Their phone buzzes constantly. They answer emails from bed, check in on the team during holidays, and pick up when their boss calls at 9pm on a Sunday.
They call this dedication. Care. Being a good leader. I would gently suggest it is something else.
It has a name
The pattern usually gets described as a savior complex, sometimes white knight syndrome or the disease to please. It is not a formal diagnosis. It is a pattern, and a very common one in high-functioning professional adults, especially women, especially in leadership.
You feel a compulsion to help. To be the reliable one. To be the person people can count on. From the inside it feels like generosity. Underneath, something else is running: your sense of worth is quietly tied to being needed.
If your value depends on people needing you, you will unconsciously build a team that always does.
What it costs
- Your team stops developing judgement, because your availability makes their judgement unnecessary.
- Your attention is never in one place long enough to do the work only you can do.
- Rest becomes something you have to justify, so you never fully take it.
- The people at home get the version of you that is left over.
What to change first
- Pick one recurring interruption and end it deliberately. Not by willpower, but by naming a rule out loud to your team.
- Replace instant answers with a scheduled slot. "Bring it to Thursday" develops people; a 9pm reply does not.
- Notice the discomfort when you are not needed. That feeling, not the calendar, is the actual work.
- Decide what your unavailable hours are before someone else fills them.
Being reachable at all times is not a leadership standard. It is a habit that looks like one, and the time it takes is the only resource you genuinely cannot get back.
Working on boundaries is easier with someone who has no stake in your availability. See executive coaching